Category: Bad Jokes

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking & the boy was riding. 

The man & boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. 
Later, they passed some people that remarked, “What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.”  They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey.   The boy & man said they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.   As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal & he fell into the river and drowned.  

The moral of the story?

  If you try to please everyone, you might as well… 

  Kiss your ass goodbye!

Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.

The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: “Nice pigs, Sir.”

The President replies: “These are not pigs.  These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs.  I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the

House Nancy Pelosi.”

The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes, and says:
“Excellent trade, sir”.

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee outside a Maryland immigration office.

‘Good man,’ the fairy said, ‘I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and three children.’

The man told the fairy. ‘Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.’

The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and — PING ! — he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

‘What else?’ asked the fairy, ‘two more to go.’

The refugee claimant now got bolder. ‘I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.. and — PING ! – In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.

‘One more wish’, said the fairy, waving her wand. ‘Yes, one more wish.

I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin like Americans . . and — PING ! – The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.

‘What happened to my new teeth?’ he wailed. ‘Where is my new house?’

……..

The fairy said ‘Tough SHIT, Mac, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself.’

And she disappeared.