Archive for old biker

The World’s Fastest Indian

The World's Fastest Indian

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  • Format: DVD
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IN THE LATE 1960'S, AFTER A LIFETIME OF PERFECTING HIS CLASSIC INDIAN MOTORCYCLE, BURT SETS OFF FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE WORLD, INVERCARGILL, NEW ZEALAND, TO CLOCK HIS BIKE AT THE BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS IN UTAH. WITH ALL ODDS AGAINST HIM, BURT PUTS HIS

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Old Bikers

Old Bikers: A lawyer and an old biker are sitting next to each other on a long flight.  The lawyer is thinking that bikers are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.  So, the lawyer asks if the biker would like to play a fun game.

The biker is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.  The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun…. “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00.  Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00,” he says.

This catches the biker’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.  The lawyer asks the first question.  “What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?”  The biker doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

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A tough but sensitive Biker

  A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about  to jump off a bridge so he stops.

 “What are you doing?” he asks.

  “I’m going to commit a suicide,” she says.

  While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss  an  opportunity he asked “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me  a  Kiss?”

  So, she does.

  After she’s finished, the biker says, “Wow! That was the best Kiss I  have ever had. That’s a real talent you are wasting. You could be  famous! Why are you committing suicide?”

 “My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl……”

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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle died

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. ‘Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.’

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ‘I want to hang out with God.’

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and Introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, ‘Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?’

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Ouch

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn’t told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily — if at all. Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, ‘Get well soon . from the nurse in the Jeep you pulled over last week.’

Rules from A Honda

 1962 Safety Rules from Honda

 Taken from a 1962 Honda Motor Cycle Owner’s Manual.

Translated by Honda for the American Motorcycle Rider

 1. At the rise of the hand by Policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him by or otherwise disrespect him.

 2. When a passenger of the foot, hooves in sight, tootel the horn trumpet melodiously at first.  If he still obstacles your passage, tootel him with vigor and express by word of mouth, warning Hi, Hi.

 3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go soothingly by.

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Cheesburger, Cheeseburger

Crusty Old Biker

A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks
into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar, which
reads:

CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50
HAND JOB: $500.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up
to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive
female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of
farmers.

‘Yes?’ she inquires with a knowing smile,
‘can I help you?’
‘I was wondering,’ whispers the old biker, are  you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?
”Yes,  she smiles and purrs, I sure am.’
The old biker replies, ‘Well wash your hands. I want a  cheeseburger.’